The Last Day

A momentary pause on this day, the last of 2007. I'm, as always, filled with many conflicting feelings about the past, the now, and the future. Right at this very moment, I am content yet anxious, mellow yet excited, confident yet unsure. A few nights ago, I had a great evening of conversation over a bottle of red about living with meaning, living with purpose and ideals and dreams.And mixed up in all of those brave and lofty notions is the grit. The grittiness of everyday little worries, the things that tire you out, the thoughts that make you sigh. Yet, we press on! That is the heroism of living I think.

Good night, 2007. You have been a constant and real friend. May 2008 be just as true, just as honest and revelatory.

Sufjan: Herald of Christmastide

It is a lovely thing to experience Christmas through the musical genius of Sufjan Stevens.

Rest. Finally.

So I arrived home at 4am after flying from NY to Seattle, then drove from Seattle to Delta, then to home in good ol' Van. (I missed Vantown I have to say.) Then I worked a half day the next day. And full days after that. And now, it's Friday at 8:53 pm and I can finally rest. Ahh.

I've been playing Christmas music more, and definitely heard a lot of it in New York. During the drive home today I played O Come, O Come Emmanuel by Over the Rhine about 20 times, singing along, getting a little emotional. That carol is one of my favourites. There is something so humble, and beautiful and gentle, and sombre and sacred about this song that resonates with my spiritual journey. Jingle Bells can kiss me ass.

Peace be with you.

last day in nyc

Until now, i'd forgotton that i started a blog. So here now, i'm taking a momentary pause on our last day in NY to post a quick one. This trip has been busy, lots of museums, lots of coffee, lots of walking. Lots and lots of walking. At first, I found people here not as friendly or exuberant as people back home but I think I've gotten used to it more now. And as much as I'm a city person, I don't think I'd want to live here. I like Vancouver for its slower pace, more open spaces, and generally friendlier service people. It's also way too damn cold here in New York!

I've been travelling with my brother Kenny and it's been good to get to know him better and spend time with him. He's thinking of going to grad school out here at Columbia so we checked out the campus one morning and had a great sit-down on the steps of the plaza. Those conversation moments are the ones I've enjoyed the most on this trip, more than the art, even more than the shopping in the West Village and the skating in Rockefeller Center!

Well, that's enough for now. Off to the Cooper-Hewitt Museum of Design.

we. are. family.

I just want to write down for myself, something my dad said when he was in the hospital a few weeks ago. My mom, dad, and I had been talking about some things while he struggled to eat his hospital dinner. He leaned back away from the tray and said to me, "You finish it. I'm full. We're family, we share everything." It was such an otherworldy moment. What with our topic of discussion and him lying there after an angioplasty, and my casual remark way before that I hadn't eaten dinner, and the three of us just there - together in a greeny, dimly-lit corner of a hospital room - his words had such subtext and truth and a bittersweetness just around the edges.

the lungs of a giant

Whoosh. A larger than normal exhalation.

Today was my last day of classes for this semester and my projects and assignments are all done. Hallelujah. I had sushi (my first and only meal of the day) with Mark and Chloe after our studio class and it was so nice to relax and bit and hang out with these two school chums of mine. Though afterwards I madly rushed to the library to finish my last assignment, the sushi time was worth every second. I've missed people. I've miss the community (the little we have of it), the energy, of these Emily Carr COMD students, what with my being there for only one class a week.

Next week, I'm heading off to NY with my brother (Kenny) for a week of vacation. We're going to do all the touristy things (he hasn't been there before), spend hours at all the museums (yay MoMa and Helvetica exhibit), and hopefully see a play and skate at Rockefeller Centre. Oops, I mean "Center". I'm also excited for the lights and chill of Christmas in New York and will hopefully be taking many, many photographs. I'm also very excited about spending time with my bro as we rarely hang out. Ah yes. Some brother/sister bonding.

This week also marks the beginning of Advent. I've been (trying) to read and meditate everyday on these readings from a new Advent book I acquired recently. I don't remember ever tracking through Advent during the Christmas Season and doing this now has kept me more mindful of the sacredness of the season. I know I need it: my starved heart, soul, and mind.